Your Ma'ma - lessons taught and learned

I'm sure everyone has heard the phrase,"if you don't have something nice to say then don't say anything." So, I'm interested to know how many of you follow that advise? I mean unless someone asked that you be critical of themselves it seems like keeping your trap shut if you don't have something nice to say is damn good advice! I like that advice and practice it as often as possible but ufortunately not always. Frustration or the need for validation of my feelings gets in the way. Definitely something I need to work at more. Maybe I should "make" time for that!

It is likely that mother also told you to "treat others as you would like to be treated", yes? Does everyone agree that is good advice? I certainly do, and I attempt to follow that advice as best as I possibly can. I mean after all we are created equal aren't we? or, are we? That is another blog. I digress.

Maybe your mother mentioned some other worldly advice. Did she ever say, "gracefully take what you are given and be grateful for it?" Again, another good tip to consider when choosing your behavior. Does this mean you shouldn't ask for more, or ask for something specific, or just ask for it to be given in a different way? This is one is where I get into trouble.

I can appreciate being told positive things about myself although, I do find it difficult to accept compliments. I can recognize when someone is purposly treating me kindly, respectfully, with dignity, etc. In the ways as they would like to be treated. Now when it comes to accept what you are given and be grateful for it. Now we are getting into muddy waters. That is a bit tough for me sometimes. Think about those other "golden rules" I just mentioned that your mother taugh you.

I find it very difficult to be grateful for those things I'm given when they aren't given for those reasons mother taught. If I'm not getting what I think should be given for the right reasons I tend to have my feelings hurt or I often I just flat out get pissed.

Remember, I don't like to ask for something that I'm not getting. My crazy rational is if I have to ask for it then that ruins the purpose behind the giving. Seems logical to me anyway! I mean if you are giving then there is a reason for doing so. Asking for what is missing doesn't help really. All I think is, ok you are only doing this because I asked you to. I cannot get passed that and am not sure by now my feelings will ever change.

With all that said, do you find it easy to ask for something that may be missing in a family situation, relationship, or friendship without having that nagging feeling about how genuine it will be given now that you have ask for it?

It is really simple don't you think, when you really think, hard and serious? Give me one good reason why can't folks just try a little harder to follow Ma'ma's advice?