Your Ma'ma - lessons taught and learned

I'm sure everyone has heard the phrase,"if you don't have something nice to say then don't say anything." So, I'm interested to know how many of you follow that advise? I mean unless someone asked that you be critical of themselves it seems like keeping your trap shut if you don't have something nice to say is damn good advice! I like that advice and practice it as often as possible but ufortunately not always. Frustration or the need for validation of my feelings gets in the way. Definitely something I need to work at more. Maybe I should "make" time for that!

It is likely that mother also told you to "treat others as you would like to be treated", yes? Does everyone agree that is good advice? I certainly do, and I attempt to follow that advice as best as I possibly can. I mean after all we are created equal aren't we? or, are we? That is another blog. I digress.

Maybe your mother mentioned some other worldly advice. Did she ever say, "gracefully take what you are given and be grateful for it?" Again, another good tip to consider when choosing your behavior. Does this mean you shouldn't ask for more, or ask for something specific, or just ask for it to be given in a different way? This is one is where I get into trouble.

I can appreciate being told positive things about myself although, I do find it difficult to accept compliments. I can recognize when someone is purposly treating me kindly, respectfully, with dignity, etc. In the ways as they would like to be treated. Now when it comes to accept what you are given and be grateful for it. Now we are getting into muddy waters. That is a bit tough for me sometimes. Think about those other "golden rules" I just mentioned that your mother taugh you.

I find it very difficult to be grateful for those things I'm given when they aren't given for those reasons mother taught. If I'm not getting what I think should be given for the right reasons I tend to have my feelings hurt or I often I just flat out get pissed.

Remember, I don't like to ask for something that I'm not getting. My crazy rational is if I have to ask for it then that ruins the purpose behind the giving. Seems logical to me anyway! I mean if you are giving then there is a reason for doing so. Asking for what is missing doesn't help really. All I think is, ok you are only doing this because I asked you to. I cannot get passed that and am not sure by now my feelings will ever change.

With all that said, do you find it easy to ask for something that may be missing in a family situation, relationship, or friendship without having that nagging feeling about how genuine it will be given now that you have ask for it?

It is really simple don't you think, when you really think, hard and serious? Give me one good reason why can't folks just try a little harder to follow Ma'ma's advice?

Go Directly to Jail - or are you an addict

We all, well most of us, have been raised that when you break the law of the land you pay the price for that action. Do the crime and then do the time. Pay your debt to society and we are good, call it even, and move on. Is it that simple? I am not so sure that it is. In fact, I am positive that it isn’t that simple.

I want to focus on one of the most common crimes committed so frequently that I really don’t think anyone could quantify it. Illicit drugs are grown, manufactured, sold, used and abused. Keep the word illicit in mind as we continue though this thought process please.

Why are illicit drugs or licit drugs illicitly used and abused such a huge problem within our American society? Let’s stay on the fact the drugs we are discussing are classified as illegal or illegally used.  I have already blogged about that subject.

Should someone who has been “busted” for possession of an illicit drug be incarcerated? Well, they broke “the law of the land” right? Yeah, they did but what about the reason why they are involved with these drugs to begin with? Is it used for recreation, is it used to mask something more serious, or is it abused because of an addiction? Shouldn’t those considerations be made before imposing a standard sentence to be jailed or imprisoned?

Recreational use is not a reason to incarcerate someone I mean really! Need I explain? Purposeful abuse to numb oneself from some form of pain is not a reason to incarcerate someone! Abuse to provide oneself a fix is not a reason to incarcerate someone! Let me break it down for you to really see what my attempt to make a point really is all about.

Does anyone have any statistics for the bodily harm inflicted of another by a recreational user? Oh, I forget we only keep track of and publicize those statistics from drunken driving accidents. I just can’t get past the hypocrisy of the whole legality of pot verses alcohol but I digress. How about that ever growing group of people who use the illicit drugs to numb their pain? Now don’t forget that their pain may be emotional or physical. Shouldn’t we look at the cause of their pain instead of just one of many symptoms for self medicated? Perhaps if society provided the proper systems and support mechanisms for addressing those who are struggling we would be able to help those individuals. They are unable to cope emotionally with their life or the complications of an illness. Now addicts are the most egregiously offended individuals. These people do not need incarceration for their illegal actions. These people need care and compassion. We as a society should be helping those addicted with their addiction.

Incarceration of any drug abuser is not solving their problem; it isn’t a deterrent to abuse, it doesn’t solve any of the core problems, it encourages continued abuse, it turns addicts into criminals to support their habit, and it is only consuming valuable space needed for those criminals that are violent and a threat to society.

It is really simple don't you think, when you really think, hard and serious? Give me one good reason why can't we help those with drug problems instead of incarcerating them?

It's About Time - making it that is

Everyone has the exact same amount of time in the 24 hour day. We all have 1,440 minutes to use during the course of a single day. How we choose to use those minutes is where we each differ greatly. The optimal word here is "choose". Setting your priorities typically will dictate how those precious minutes will be divided up into segments called daily life. How one decides what those priorities are and how they will be set depends on the complicated act of balancing being a part of a family, earning a living, tasks and chores for the day, etc.

It seems that many folks express their concern for the lack of time to "get it all done." Obviously, the problem isn't the lack of time but the decisions one made about how to choose to allocate those finite 1,440 daily minutes.

I always hear the excuse, "I didn't have enough time", "I just had too much on my plate today", "I tried to take time, but…,” etc. For me, something just doesn't ring true with those attempted justifications. How could one not have enough time when the amount of time is always the same? How could you have too much on your plate, did you forget the plate is 1,440 minutes a day? The biggest so called excused that makes me crazy is not being able to take time. Where are these people taking time from? Is there an extra stock pile that I am not aware of?

The value of time is not something too difficult to understand. The supposition of how to utilize your time depends on your choices. What do you want to do with your time? If you choose to have a family then you have already determined that a significant amount of your 1,440 minutes are going to be devoted to them. If you choose to have a certain job/career then you have predetermined a minimum amount of those 1,440 minutes will be dedicated to earning a living. If you have chosen to on a hobby or exercise regimen, again you have concluded that it will consume some portion of those limited 1,440 minutes of each day.

The phrase, “couldn’t take time”, is one that needs to be removed from our English language. People do not take time for anything. People make time for everything.  People choose how to spend 1,440 minutes of every day of their life. Clearly, we have some exceptions to consider and that is when one is incapacitated or unable to make choices on their own. But let’s stick with the typical. One must make time not take time for every choice of every day.

Please don’t take time out of your day for me. I want you to make time for me. I want you to choose to spend time with me, to choose to make time to do something for me, to choose to make time to visit with me, etc. Forcing time isn’t a genuine demonstration of being a true friend. If you can’t make time, don’t take time. It ruins the purpose of time together.

It is really simple don't you think, when you really think, hard and serious? Give me one good reason why can't we make time for those things that are important to us?