The Backseat - not the driver type

Sometimes, one has to take the backseat for a family member or friend. I don't mean it to be considered a bad place to be. They may have something more pressing or more important than you do at a specific time or for a specific period of time. I am always open minded to that idea as long as it is and remains respectful, necessary and temporary. If I am able to accomidate their need(s), then I'm willing, ready and able.

Now if the need arises for you to climb over into the backseat, (those of you from my generation probably did that literally), then one needs to consider the forementioned parameters. In addition, the frequency of these requests, the legitimacy of the requests and the purpose of these requests need to be included in the decision you make.

Your character will play a significant roll in your response to the request but even more so your character should give you insight to offer that you take the backseat before being asked to do so. However, if you offer to take the backseat then you cannot get upset when you find yourself sitting there for longer than you wanted. This is why it's important to not only make the gesture but to apply the same parameters I have listed as well as ensure both folks agree to them.

It's when that backseat has been customized for you, and it is expected that you permanently occupy, is when one should step back and reconsider the relationship. Now I do mean it to be considered a bad place to be. No one has the right to impose their will on you. You do not have the responsibility to accept the only option they have decided for you to have. Don't settle, don't sit in the back seat all the time, and do not accept anyone's attempt to control you. Respect yourself and perhaps even help that person be a better person by not playing their game. In an earlier blog I talk about taking the high road.

We all need to remember that the world doesn't revolve around us, but instead we make the world go around. If you are secure, confident and at peace it's easy to take the backseat whenever called upon. That is what you are supposed to do for those you love. It is ok to make that request of some else to do for you that for you but remember to follow your own rules and be sure that is respectful, necessary and temporary.

We shouldn't ever use or abuse the backseat. It must never be used as ammunition during a disagreement nor should it be used to punish someone by placing them there. Don't harbor negative feelings or thoughts. They don't do anything but waste your energy, consumes your time and is literally unhealthy. I feel another blog idea developing. Now if I could only remember if I have already covered this topic!

So the question remains: It is really simple don't you think, when you really think hard and seriously? Come on...give me any good reason why folks can't treat their friends and family with respect when it's necessary for them to take the back seat?