Combat - males only please

A male veteran friend was chatting with me the other day. He is a heavy duty, gun toating, racially challenged Republican and knows I'm all about Hillary. One of the questions he ask me was, "what do you think about women being allowed into combat?" As a liberal, feminist, and equal rights advocate I jumped at the chance to dive right into my answer and fire back my load of questions on the subject.

I was simple and direct. (who knew!) I told him that I had no problem with it as long as they have been trained properly, demonstrate the commitment required and can perform with equal results to their male counterparts. As his head was shaking with disappointment and his expression, of I knew she would approve of it, washed down his face I paused and then fired back.

I asked him what he thought, as a veteran of combat, about women fighting the enemies side by side with him. Part of his answer surprised me and the rest was a real mind blower. His immediate reply was that he didn't approve of women being in combat, but he quickly deflected a likely anticipated question from me, by saying that the women in combat are equally capable in the majority of the military tactics used. He when on to say that many are better in combat than men. I suspected a bit of attempted defensive maneuvering happening. Unfortunately, I don't remember what examples he sited were specifically.

The rest of his now very lengthy answer was that, "it is too difficult for a man to stay focused on the mission when there is a female in the fight with them." I hope my jaw didn't hit the driveway but it sure felt like it did. He went on to explain that when a man that has been deployed away from home for so long he has needs that are worsened by a woman's presence. I would have slapped him but he probably would have liked it! lol

I threw a few more questions about the impact of feminine hygiene and a woman's physical strength had on his males comerads. The one question that I personally felt to be critical was if he and his fellow male troops felt that they could count on and rely on a female in their combat unit. I was pleased to hear his reply, that yes he didn't have any insecurities regarding females in combat carrying their own and living the code.

To this day I have always felt that women should be provided the same opportunities as are provided men. Let us not forget equal pay for equal work. That law took way too long to pass but I digress. If anyone trying to do a job is unable to it then they don't get the job. That seems pretty simple and efficient to me, of course. To presume that women cannot and should not be in combat is simply ridiculous. Once again, males are still determining and controlling what women are "allowed" to do. I believe the original thought, and I believe to still be an issue, is that a woman role as a mother must be preserved to continue propagation. Therefore, we are not to place women in harms way. Ok now, give me a break, that notion should have been booted out decades ago. I believe that currently the argument remains on the question of a woman's capability to fight in combat. Well hell, if a woman can't do the job then don't give her the job. But to make a blanket assumption is a bit chauvinistic.

To find out, or more acurately to finally admit to thinking, that most male troops in combat can't do their job because they, "haven't seen a woman for so long causing them to be distracted...", was really a shocker. Then to hear my friend add one more stunning comment about how some of the women in combat sleep around with all the male troops, "making the rounds" as he put it, just tipped me over the edge. I think my tongue was bleeding I was biting it so hard. Really? That ended my conversation and I politely excused myself to return inside my house.

So the question remains: It is really simple don't you think, when you really think, hard and seriously? Come on...give me any good reason why women shouldn't be allowed in combat with male counterparts?

The Backseat - not the driver type

Sometimes, one has to take the backseat for a family member or friend. I don't mean it to be considered a bad place to be. They may have something more pressing or more important than you do at a specific time or for a specific period of time. I am always open minded to that idea as long as it is and remains respectful, necessary and temporary. If I am able to accomidate their need(s), then I'm willing, ready and able.

Now if the need arises for you to climb over into the backseat, (those of you from my generation probably did that literally), then one needs to consider the forementioned parameters. In addition, the frequency of these requests, the legitimacy of the requests and the purpose of these requests need to be included in the decision you make.

Your character will play a significant roll in your response to the request but even more so your character should give you insight to offer that you take the backseat before being asked to do so. However, if you offer to take the backseat then you cannot get upset when you find yourself sitting there for longer than you wanted. This is why it's important to not only make the gesture but to apply the same parameters I have listed as well as ensure both folks agree to them.

It's when that backseat has been customized for you, and it is expected that you permanently occupy, is when one should step back and reconsider the relationship. Now I do mean it to be considered a bad place to be. No one has the right to impose their will on you. You do not have the responsibility to accept the only option they have decided for you to have. Don't settle, don't sit in the back seat all the time, and do not accept anyone's attempt to control you. Respect yourself and perhaps even help that person be a better person by not playing their game. In an earlier blog I talk about taking the high road.

We all need to remember that the world doesn't revolve around us, but instead we make the world go around. If you are secure, confident and at peace it's easy to take the backseat whenever called upon. That is what you are supposed to do for those you love. It is ok to make that request of some else to do for you that for you but remember to follow your own rules and be sure that is respectful, necessary and temporary.

We shouldn't ever use or abuse the backseat. It must never be used as ammunition during a disagreement nor should it be used to punish someone by placing them there. Don't harbor negative feelings or thoughts. They don't do anything but waste your energy, consumes your time and is literally unhealthy. I feel another blog idea developing. Now if I could only remember if I have already covered this topic!

So the question remains: It is really simple don't you think, when you really think hard and seriously? Come on...give me any good reason why folks can't treat their friends and family with respect when it's necessary for them to take the back seat?

Black and White - No, not the cookie

It's truly unfortunate, (look it up if you need to I chose that word as apposed to the media's term, tragic), that the death of a young man by a older man has happened, again. I purposely left out the obvious descriptions, of those involved, with the hope's that years down the road we won't remember the obvious but rather that what will be remembered is what most folks do not consider now a days. Hey, I am an optimist. Tragedies are exactly that "a lamented, dreadful or fatal event..." Was this event more tragic than the other estimated 146,357 deaths that occurred on that same day? Is every death tragic?

I am angered by the number of facts that were left out of the trial. Both the boy and the man had much more information to be shared about their pasts but were not allowed in court for various "legal" reasons.

I am angered by the number of facts that were left out of the media coverage. Not sure who made that call but it seemed that most of the major networks and news agencies failed to site all the facts. Perhaps they were happy with just those that made the event "tragic".

I am angered that the man didn't listen to the police instructions to stay in his car and that the boy was stereo typed by the man. But I am also angered because the boy attacked the man and was on top of him and beating him with mixed martial arts style blows to his head.

Stereotypes exist because they stem from folks who choose to broad stroke only a small portion of the observed, (sometimes even exaggerated or made up), layers of the "selected" group of people. When "judging someone", (I hate that by they way and YES that is another blog), few of those folks take time to consider all of the facts; the circumstances, their past history, their dreams, their talents, their passions, their potential, the missed opportunities, the prejudice, the hate, the pain, the anger. Those who judge are too busy wrapping themselves up in that self-fulfilling blanket of security.

The media no longer reports the news. They determine what is news and then report it in the way they want it to be seen. I think CNN and FOX are great examples of how the same story can be reported so completely different by two different NEWS agencies. What about truth in journalism? Yeah well that has kinda taken on a different meaning. This my friends is what I call greed. But I digress.

One story does not make a crisis. Some of my more extremely unsettling concerns (or crises if you prefer) are that adults still smoke themselves to death, children are still abused to death, elderly are still neglected to death. All of these "people" can be any color or ethnicity you want to assign them. After all that doesn't really matter in the long run. True, there are some ethnicities that have higher rates of certain causes of deaths per capita for various reasons. Adults, children and the elderly are all humans and deserve the respect that all humans should be given.

As I have always said, " I believe every emotion stems from either love or fear." Did this unfortunate death of the boy stem from love or fear? Perhaps you could ponder that when you care to make some time for it. You can also read my other blog on that very statement. So the question remains: It is really simple don't you think, when you really think hard and seriously. Come on, give me any good reason why this story has been given too much press when there are so many other stories that need to be told?